I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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