At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize