someone get that fucking seahorse.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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