Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize