Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize