my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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