john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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