I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize