It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize