drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i came on her dog
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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