So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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