I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize