why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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