umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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