Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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