Plan B is the new Plan A
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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