She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am mentally ready for anal.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize