dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize