I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize