Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize