Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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