To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
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I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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