in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize