Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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