I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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