He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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