He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
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Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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