i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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