yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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