What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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