I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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