she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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