went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize