I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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