Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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