I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He shit in the fireplace
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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