I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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