I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize