She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
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Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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