so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize