I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do vagina's smell?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize