could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
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and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I am naked and annoyed.
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Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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