Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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