I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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