so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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