Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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