She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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