he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
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I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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