Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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