i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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